First Flutter…

I remember the first day I saw Todd Williams. It was in homeroom sophomore year of high school – 1986. My heart skipped a beat as the “first flutter” came alive inside of me. I could not stop gazing at this human. I knew I had to date this man, maybe even marry him!!

Drinking in the excitement and sparkle of new love – the first flutter! It is a feeling that should be bottled because it is amazing, it is what we call LOVE at first sight!! Here we are 37 years later and we just celebrated 32 years of marriage. The spark lives on and so does the flutter – but I’m not gonna lie…it does take some effort from us both!

Reading Song of Songs this week…it describes the first glance, the courting, the wedding day & night but then the realities that the “spark” of marriage may fade.

Is your spark faded or maybe even gone? Well praise God, it can be renewed and regenerated. Read on!

Being married for over three decades I can testify that the spark fades easily without intentional effort to keep it glowing! But first let me say, God is in the center of our marriage – period! Without Him, nothing below would be possible!! He gets all the credit for our lasting relationship in this fallen world. Our marital goal is for the faithfulness of love to reflect God’s perfect faithfulness to us. So if you don’t know Jesus, seek after Him to get to God and be part of true everlasting love and eternal life!

Okay back to the spark…there have been many times in our marriage when conflict or busyness gets in the way of our intimacy. The spark fades and the flutter flies out the window. But…I am reminded often from the Word that God created intimacy within a marriage, it is a gift! Married couples need to honor each other to keep the spark alive. Accept this gift of love and share it with each other.

One of the first things God commanded Adam and Eve to do was to be fruitful and multiply. He wanted them to enjoy one another physically and in the process, have children. Because God believes that sex is good, this means it is good within the framework of marriage. (Genesis)

Sometimes we may take for granted our marriage relationship because we get “used” to everything and get in a dull rut! But who wants to get “used” to anything so beautifully created by our God?! Always know that our marriages can be renewed and regenerated – but we have to make an effort!!

Our marriage relationships must be the first thing on our minds!! We must take time for each other and go on dates even if it is just on a walk around the block! If we don’t talk to each other then how do we keep building a relationship that will blossom? Also…don’t use the kids as an excuse or not having money to date – spending time together does not cost anything. Communicate consistently and often, then try to capture the “first flutter” in your heart by talking about the good ole days and when you first met! Relive the flutter and watch it fly back into your heart!

The other thing that keeps the spark alive in addition to intimacy is friendship! The young woman in Songs says that Solomon was her friend. (5:16) Your spouse and you need to be “best” friends plus lovers. A true safe haven for each other. We need to tell everything to this person and really trust him – no secrets! Problems will arise but when we trust and respect each other, we can talk and walk through them. We should have a sense of security with our spouse we don’t have with anyone else besides God! Marital friendships do take time to build, but oh how they make the love relationship much deeper and more satisfying! Todd is my “bestest” friend.

If we are not “bestest” friends with our husband, we lose common ground, especially when the kids leave! We don’t want to be by ourselves in the “empty nest”do we…so find common ground now! Enjoy doing things together, have fun together, worship together, laugh together, eat together, play a sport together, go to church together, be silly together – find some common ground to blossom your marriage. Be “bestest” friends, make him number one in your life (only second to the Lord) and recapture the flutter in your heart!

Ah ha…when we are blossoming at home we can then blossom in the work world! Renew and regenerate the “first flutter” in your marriage today, it is never too late!

Stay Rooted,

Lisa & Heather

#flutter #love #Godfirst #respect #bestestfriends #commonground #marriagerocks #welovemarriage