Ridiculous Love
When I read this earlier in the week I felt a shift. God opened my eyes and revealed a deep truth. I’m so thankful my sister gave me permission to share her beautiful testimony. To walk through what she’s going through with eyes only focused on Jesus puts all of our trivial day to day issues in perspective. Keep sharing little sister. God’s plan is greater than we can ever imagine – you are loved and fully armored by God.
****************************************
This journey has been one of the hardest things in my life. I never wanted to be a warrior or discover my strength’s depths. I wanted to continue living out of the spotlight, but here I am.
It is impossible to describe to someone how you truly feel on the inside if you haven’t endured cancer treatments. I try to find analogies to help others who want to understand; honestly, nothing compares. The biggest struggle is feeling and acting normal. You fight every day to put on a brave face to your loved ones, but words can never describe how you feel on the inside.
I drove Paige to dance practice yesterday, and it felt liberating, normal; roll down the windows – somewhat free moment, but all in the same breath, your body will remind you of the toxins, poison still attacking your body. The best way to describe my everyday battle would be limbo – cancer prison – grieving the loss of my life before cancer. It is exhausting and often debilitating. However, I know my body is healing, my mind is healing, my heart is healing, and it’s OK that it will take some time.
As a woman of faith, God tells us to expect trials in life, so I know God already knows how he will bring about something beautiful from this. God wants us all to trust him on this path – even in complete healing or with cancer returning. Do I have peace with this? Yes, an unexpected deep peace in my heart because, you see, God has given me a platform from which I can share more about his love to so many people because, without my cancer diagnosis, they would have never read this post. He is also showing me that he is supporting me through every one of you, even sending individuals whom I haven’t talked to in years to reach out.
I will share that living out God’s will seems ridiculous to a world that does not know him. However, I can now live out his will with confidence, clarity, and competence since following him wholeheartedly and surrendering to him unconditionally. Because when you obey, it opens up your ears and heart to hear clearly. God wants to uniquely use each of us and the gifts he has given us as his vessels of love, justice, mercy, and grace.
Even as I fight this terrible disease, I haven’t forgotten these words and my faith. I would instead follow what God put in my heart and have the whole world think I was a fool. I would rather die knowing I faithfully followed what God put in my heart than bow down to the thoughts of men and women on this Earth.
I pray for anyone going through difficult times that God will use your circumstances, so you can see the good and the unexpected blessings that come with suffering.
He is the one who replaces ashes with a crown of beauty, and turns mourning into dancing (Isaiah 61:3, Psalm 30:11).
Written by Christina Williams
Love Heather & Lisa
Stay Rooted
