Orange Juice: The Story of Work-Life… “Balance?”
If you have read our last few blogs I am sure you’ve noticed a common theme: Lisa and I are busy, busy women. And honestly…when I really think about it, I have been busy my entire life. As a young adult I was so confident in my quest to be successful in my career, marry a great man, and have a family. And that is exactly what I did. Not one single time did I ever doubt that I could do it all and have it all. I was a super woman. I just wanted to be the perfect employee, the perfect Mom, and the perfect wife.
But about 3 years ago I hit a personal rock bottom moment – a sitting on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out – wishing I could be anywhere but where I was that moment. I was completely miserable. The pace of my life was catching up to me. I felt as if my marriage was falling apart, my job was requiring a lot of travel, and raising teenagers was getting the best of me. Every four steps forward resulted in three steps backwards. It was total chaos. I was done both mentally and physically. I no longer felt like a super woman and things certainly weren’t perfect. I cried out to God that night sitting on the cold bathroom floor. I did not really truly know God then, I just knew I was desperate and needed something to change because I really felt like I was dying inside. I am so grateful that HE knew me and that HE heard me.
Before I began writing this story, I looked up the word BUSY. The definition is “having a great deal to do.” The sentence used for reference on Google reads, “He had been too busy to enjoy himself.” Just replace He with Heather. That was me sitting on the bathroom floor. The crash that came from trying to do it all and be PERFECT at everything and too busy to enjoy anything. From that moment in the bathroom there is a whole series of miraculous God moments that happened in my life. Our Almighty Lord began straightening my paths. With God’s hand on my shoulder I was finally able to see that all these years I had been working in my own power (although I had none) and fighting battle after battle my own way (and losing) and trying desperately hard to find work-life balance.
In the midst of this spiritual journey I got an email one day from one of my kids teachers. It was party time and she was asking for Moms to send in baked goods and treats for the class. I dreaded these emails. I knew me all too well right? But when I looked at that list, do you know what I signed up for? Yes, orange juice. My child even made a comment to me that will always sting. “Wow Mom you signed up for orange juice! I am so proud of you for not getting yourself so stressed out about a school party.” Dagger to the heart. Confirmation comes to us sometimes when we least expect it.
I began realizing even more that I had not been living in the moment. When I was home I was mostly absent because I was BUSY. My kids didn’t care if I sent in the fanciest homemade cookies. They just wanted a Mom that wasn’t stressed. A Mom that cared more about spending time with them versus making fancy cookies that only I really truly cared about.
You know what? Despite my new wisdom, I recently found myself almost on the verge of this reality again…just with the weekly routine of preparing lunches, fruits and vegetables for my family. It was a huffy, puffy moment as I chopped celery with a bitter heart because it was Sunday and I wasn’t resting. I was sharing this story with Lisa as we were talking about our busy lives of late when I started thinking about the Proverbs 31 Woman. She gets up before dawn, with energy and strength and her lamps burn late into the night. But yet not one time does the Bible say she often got grumpy and resented doing the work for her family and chopped celery with a vengeance. I texted Lisa the next morning and said I think I just had my heart checked! In Philippians 4:4, Paul writes, “Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!” I continue to learn that God wants me to have joy even when I am chopping celery for my family.
You see, work is an integral part of our lives. Whether we are working outside the home, for our families, or for our church. But what I have learned through the years and even more as a child of God – is that we can’t really achieve work life balance because it will always be two competing forces. Why? Close your eyes and image two children balanced on a see-saw. When I close my eyes I see them at equal heights off the ground; equally balanced. It takes a lot of energy to keep that see-saw perfectly balanced. Just one slight move and you can get thrown off!
Now that I am in my new life with the Holy Spirit, I am learning so much about Jesus and His life. As I read the Bible I am seeing what Jesus realized because he knew his time on Earth was short. My time is also short. I didn’t have an equally balanced life and I stopped chasing it. It only led to stress and frustration and too much energy trying to keep it perfectly balanced. But what I do know is that I only have ONE life. And no matter where I work, where my career path leads me, or where I live…
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I also have only ONE purpose and that PURPOSE is to share the love of our Lord and Savior! I can be successful and be a good a Mother; but only through Him!
Colossians 3:23 reads, “Work willingly at whatever your do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” Regardless of how or where you “work” – do it for the glory of God. Be present in the moment you are in. Put the phone down or simply just turn off the radio. Ask yourself, how can I glorify God in this moment? What can I be thankful for?
I spent so many years of my life thinking that being a “good” employee and Mom meant doing it all and saying yes to everything! It is ok to realize our limits and say no and sign up for orange juice instead of 3 dozen homemade cookies when the timing just isn’t right. We can block time in our calendar to stop in our busy day and retreat in prayer just like Jesus did. I now know that I can do NOTHING without our Father. And the only way to be a Working Woman Rooted in Faith is to know that God is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE at work, at home, at everything we do (John 14:6).
All things in our life must be CENTERED on loving God and others; not balanced between God, Work, and Family. It is only through Him that we can be fruitful regardless of our “work.”
I just want to take a minute to say thank you LIsa – for taking this journey with me and then sometimes having to pull me through it. Your love, prayers, and friendship mean so much!
Heather Callahan
Are you feeling overwhelmed and perhaps just don’t know what direction to turn? Are you feeling like you are on the verge of that bathroom moment I described? Here are a few ways we can help you.
- I highly recommend a Life Application Study Bible in the New Living Translation. Everything I have learned through career development training is right there & beautifully written.
- Lisa and I would be willing to meet with you, talk to you about what we’ve learned on our journey, and pray together. Follow us on Facebook at Working Women Rooted in Faith.
- Take a notebook and a pen; find a quiet place and write down what you think would be read at your funeral. I recommend the book Living Forward by Michael Hyatt to use as a guide to looking at your life accounts – trust me; mine were in complete opposite order!
- Start a bullet journal or Bible journal and for one week keep track of how you spend your time. At the end of the week create a pie chart showing exactly what you’ve been doing all week. Reflect! Make adjustments; slowly and surely.
- Use your calendar. I tell my employees all the time – if you don’t manage your calendar someone else will. And what I mean by that is if you don’t make a commitment to control your calendar then it will be filled up with what other people want you to do. I have time blocks throughout my day that are mine and I cherish those.
